Where Do We Rest: In As Fucked Up As Elsewhere, Guwahati and Everywhere?
No feeling is final
-Rainer Maria Rilke
Is the desire to exist outside the structure; outside the preordained hierarchy, an attempt to position yourself in a purported ‘parallel’ space, in reality (if there exists one) a feeble attempt to undo an existing hierarchy? It is of my belief, that undoing structures — the process of dismantling them begin from psychology, a clear, decisive move away from the slavish conditioning of the human species, a determined celibacy from power (and the prevalent capital in the hierarchy: social, economic, cultural) (an impossibility). What happens to the structure once you have managed to position yourself outside or ‘parallelly’ to it? It does not disappear, for sure — but it is exposed of its farcical existence and the uni-reality one has been subjected for all of the erstwhile. To counter this rather involuntary delusion of a singular reality(is it involuntary, or do we willingly stare into the lure of … others?), we must erect an autonomous delusion — the agency over delusion is of paramount importance — and to the dismantling of structures, for you must imagine a glorious delusion where you can co-exist, thrive, be several antagonists, uncharacterized and free from structure — this delusion is meant to lend an epiphanic relevance to all of one’s thoughts and positions (several simulatanes) in the world — although one will constantly be subjected to the forms of capital and power in insidious, formless, shapeshifting manners and methods. The agency over delusion mustn’t be mistaken for a delusion of agency.
The delusatory place or location is one of liberational qualities — including all that is preeminently deviant: thoughts, options, decisions, ‘meaning’ which operates with newfound freedom, courage, and perhaps an innate understanding of the secrets of the world in an equally mysterious, oblique manner. It is in a way, the birth of the individual — and in a way, it must be admitted, it is individualist. To go back to affecting structures, and actually undo them, psychology requires to operate in manys, and it needs many other such individualist impulses emerging — which do exist in every individual — a collective emergence of individualistic impulses, with these impulses being unique but mirroring each other in several ways, and consequently possibly complementing each other.
The individual is a location. Most of us aren’t individual yet (for the word individual has several other connotations, it must be used to mean independent, while retaining the root meaning of ‘individual’) and most of us are yet to be individual, for we still operate slavishly (most brutishly on Instagram: a factory of an aesthetic of clones, of fascist linguistic patterns, of hierarchical modes of apostrophes and inverted commas — the unbearable resemblances of power across the gesture spectrum) We exist as the residue of others (who are the mysterious ‘others’? — they are but the residue of another ‘others’ captive to an endless chain, the end of which, half out of spite and half out of gut, I shall call ‘America’ — America isn’t solely limited to the country today). Most of the time, the everyday oppresses us. The individual’s dearth of imagination: of the lack of an ‘elsewhere’ and bounding it to a ‘here’, perpetuates enslavement. The emergence of this psychological process, the birth of desire to reside ‘elsewhere’ in disregard of everyday oppressors appears no different than we mean to be liberation. The contents and conclusion of this grand psychology remain mysterious to us, and leaves us to contemplate its possibilities. The emergence of the individual here, is imagined to occur simultaneously: where any solidarity formed as a result of such consequence must still remain disparate without any hostile passions to be able to prevent the emergence of another hierarchy of liberateds. A hierarchy of liberateds exemplify perversity in ways stranger than we know. The idea of what independence means beyond locomotion (of body and thought) exists as a key to what we may refer to the unseen. The unseen will not be seen frequently, but it will appear every once in a while.
As many before me have experienced, and as many after me will, — the unseen is of an unbearable beauty. It is a world that does not realise the existence of clothes.
I mirror all those who I hate, and there is no one as enslaved as me.
